Tuesday, February 1, 2005

of growing old and aching bones...

My whole friggin' body hurts. Every bone and muscle must be corporally complaining right now. But for what? I haven't made them endure any exercise or any hard, manual labor. I just exposed my joints and muscles to the extremely loveable sport of bowling last Saturday evening. And now I am paying the price. :( Last night, I had to literally drown myself in paracetamol so I can get some sleep. I shudder at the thought of my condition on Thursday morning as Wednesday night we plan to attend aero box and aero jazz lessons...

I wasn't able to go out last night due to this pain in my arms, my shoulders and my head. Not that I would have went out if my conditions were normal, as I am currently working on a shoestring budget for February. Sigh. Makes me sometimes resent the fact that I have to give a large portion of my earnings to my family. Makes me sometimes envy people who do not carry this burden. It is not that I do not have the choice -- the choice to not give and withhold are always there -- but the situation is such that there is no choice at all. That there may be an option B, but doing option B would make the situation far worse still and not produce any good at all, and thus there is essentially no choice in the matter but to go for option A -- that is to give. That is my fundamental option (for better or for worse).
You know how the cliche goes about women who put their family first and they end up in lonely spinsterhood? That is a future I am so afraid of (knock on wood). What if I become so engrossed in putting my sister through school, taking care of my parents and over-all being so occupied with family matters that I totally ignore or put aside my own personal life? Am I doomed to a love-less, lonely future? Will I be a crabby, mad spinster when I grow older? (shudder, shudder, shudder).

Ok, this post is getting too depressing. Must be the symptoms of nearly growing a year older. Good morning to you and to me!

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