Saturday, December 31, 2005
Bad news: But how can I be sure my heart won't just be bludgeoned again like a turkey for Thanksgiving? Maybe not now but it would probably happen sometime. This time around, I don't think I can completely put my happiness in someone else's hands....
Thank God for lechon to ease any potential heartache (and just pile on heartburn). hahaha.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Off for Cebu!
I was all dressed up, packed and ready to go to the airport when I got bad news from Jco at around 10 am. Turns out my BKK-MLA flight is going to be delayed by one hour. My mind immediately processed possible consequences and turned up with one horrifying possibility: I might miss my flight to Cebu! ( my original BKK-MLA flight had only one hour leeway between my MLA-CBU flight. So a one hour delay in the first flight would mean no breathing time at all , plus the hassle with lining up for immigration, customs...you get the picture ). I promptly cried on the phone (trust me, this happens rarely now and on special nerve-wracking occasions only. hehe. Give me a break, I just got home from Chiang Rai at around 3am!). After putting down the phone, I called my agent to ensure I get hotel booking in Manila at least if I do miss my flight and a sure seat for the flight the next day. I called my dad to cancel the band waiting for my arrival at Cebu airport (hehe. joke). I called to tell him I might have to fly in the next day and spend the night in Manila (which honestly got me all scared and jittery -- notwithstanding the fact that I have actually lived there for almost 6 years).
Anyway, the flight to Manila was quite uneventful, save for those direct questions I posed to my travelling partner (which probably made him most uncomfortable. I apologize, truly. Hehehe. I admit though I learned a lot of things). I arrived in Manila 20 minutes late for my connecting flight to my beloved hometown. Fortunately, it seemed PAL was holding the Cebu flight to wait for us (much to the chagrin of its passengers I presume). So we rushed through immigration and customs (they simply just plastered the yellow sticker on my bag. whew!) and I was off running for the domestic terminal. A hurried text to my family was sent to inform them that I was on my way (by now, they had dispersed after my cousin's kiddie party).
The feeling of coming home after a year of being gone is strangely mellowing. You tend to forget all the bad memories that happened to you in a particular place and you simply focus on getting to the people who matter to you the most -- family. I am happy to be home in Cebu, to eat lechon again, to play (yes, play ) with my cousins, meet my relatives, spoil my family and just rest a my tired and restless spirit. I love Cebu and it will definitely be home to me always, but I know that I am not meant to stay here because I need to make my mark in another part of the world. (naks, eto talaga effect if I write my blog entries at midnight. I become so utterly cheesy).
This Christmas, we spent it in our grandparents' place in Medellin, a sleepy little town north of Cebu (after Bogo). Its weird. This town has never changed -- from its dusty, disheveled, rocky roads to the sugar cane littering the streets to its quiet and very rustic and rural quality -- it is similar to the town I knew and loved as a child. This is probably helped by a lot of governmental neglect (surprise surprise) and apathy on the part of the people of the town itself. So the whole clan was in place ( all 16 cousins, with mom and dads in tow). Imagine, all of us crammed into this two storey house with four bedrooms. You can imagine the fights and the bickering that went on in the rooms as everybody jostled for space. Being the eldest, I tried to be as bossy as possible to get the best bedspace for me. hehehe. Here is a pic of one of the railways in front of my lola's house.
Pic of my cousins and me during Christmas!
An aunt bought Magic Sing so medyo we had a karaoke Christmas. Plus of course, the much awaited family bingo game. I think my family has huge gambling tendencies. Everyone was really into the bingo game. My uncle, the bday celebrant, won the bingo black out. I won the first round where we had to form a square but I had to share the prize with two others. boo hoo. hehehe.
And I learned how to drive! Sobrang cool pala when you are behind the wheel. Of course, my uncle/teacher was shouting at me everytime : BRAKE! CLUTCH! CHANGE GEAR! Medyo nakakairita but then whats the best way to learn but from a person who screams in your ear right? Haha. At least it wasn't my lolo who taught me. I heard he can be quite the taskmaster and perfectionist (not to mention easily irritated).
Unfortunately, on Christmas day, my parents weren't feeling really well. Turns out both of them had pneumonia. So we had to rush to Cebu and went straight for the ER. I stayed in the hospital for 3 days. Fortunately, gumaling din and we weren't going to spend the first few hours of 2006 cooped up in the hospital. Now if only my dad would get the message and STOP SMOKING so his and my mom's health wouldn't get worse. Really talaga, mahirap magpalaki ng mga magulang. Matitigas ulo. Tsk tsk tsk.
I met up with two of my closest high school friends and we had a sleepover at Waterfront Hotel in Lahug. One was very much pregnant and the other was getting married next year. Honestly, I felt quite left out. I mean, here were two kabarkadas getting ready (or in the midst of ) settling down. Am I in that age bracket already where people I know begin to talk of walking down the aisle already, of spending an entire lifetime with only ONE person and talking about diapers and baby names? Am I? Am I? Did I suddenly jump into the future and can come back to find that the present still values singlehood?
I am happy for them and sincerely hope the choices they have made will turn out well for them in the future. :) Anyway, we spent half the night and the whole of next morning just chatting and catching up with the one year that we haven't seen each other. They regaled me with tales about our other high school batchmates, about work life in Cebu and in turn, I talked about Germans, about elephants, Patpong shows and everything else in the Thailand tourist category. hehehe.
Hay, by the time I am writing this, I am now over budget, in debt and will be working my ass off in January and February to pay off for my spending this December. Honestly, I feel a family member is lurking at every corner of the mall. But I don't mind (well, maybe just a tiny tiny bit). After all, basta lipay family nako, lipay naman sad ko. hahaha.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Anyway, I am just thinking about the things I will do tomorrow (my only day of rest because after that comes Chiang Rai then trip home). Hmm...Art hair, Central, Office, MBK, Suan Lum. That in a nutshell summarizes my day tomorrow. Assuming of course that the short trip to the office for a bit of knowledge transfer doesn't take too much of my precious time. And sana, Panginoon sa Bintana won't forget that naka VL na ako... :(
I can't even write coherently into my blog anymore. I am so sleepy and so lazy and just plain tired.
Why won't the stupid program work????? Grrrrrr.
Saturday, December 10, 2005
Oh, baby dolls
I know you like me (I know you like me)
I know you do (I know you do)
Thats why whenever I come around shes all over you
And I know you want it (I know you want it)
It's easy to see (it's easy to see)
And in the back of your mind
I know you should be home with me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Fight the feeling (fight the feeling)
Leave it alone (leave it alone)
Cause if it aint love
It just aint enough to leave a happy home
Let's keep it friendly (let's keep it friendly)
You have to play fair (you have to play fair)
See, I dont care
But I know she aint gon' wanna share
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha , baby
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha
I know I'm on your mind
I know we'll have a good time
I'm your friend
And I'm fine
I aint lying
Look at me, you aint blind [2x]
See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)
I understand (I understand)
I'd probably be just as crazy about you
If you were my own man
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)
Until then, Oh friend your'e secret is safe with me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me
Dont cha, dont cha
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me
Dont cha, dont cha
I bought a new phone! hehehe. Ironically, this is the first phone I actually bought (which I didn't wheedle out of my father) and my first colored phone with camera! To be honest, I wasn't really going to replace my trusty, albeit rust-covered nokia phone. But the prospect of my family warning everybody to get out of the way because my phone might give them the tetanus infection was enough incentive to make me change my mind and rid me of my phone-miser tendencies.
I already finished packing all my 'pasalubongs'. I just need to finish up on my shopping for five other people and I'm done! Hopefully, there would still be space inside my luggage for my own stuff. hehehe. My parents (yep, hi tech na parents ko. Online all the time. Well, except for the time my mom manages to download viruses and the PC has to be fixed) sent me an email yesterday with a countdown on when I am coming home.
Last week, I turned one year old in Bangkok already. Time really does fly fast. This week last year, Reysiel, Ria , Mervin and I were making our way in a strange new city, with a different language and a different culture and hanging out with non-Filipinos. It has been, and still is (for the most part), a fun and learning experience here. I have to say, I haven't regretted one bit in making the decision to pack up and leave Manila for Bangkok. Of course, the fact that Ria, Reysiel, Eileen and kuya mervs (and now Paui) are here made the transition much more comfortable and less alienating. In a way, this experience changed me and perhaps made me more resilient (hello! I don't cry any more at the littlest tukso. hehehe.) and a bit more appreciative of family, life and friends. Working here has helped me immensely in my role as family breadwinner too. I don't grumble so much anymore when I send money home (though sometimes I still do). hehehe.
And since marunong na ako mag attach ng photo sa blog, here is a pic of us 4 in Baiyoke last New Year’s eve.
Happy One-Year-in-Bangkok guys and hopefully, here's to a more exciting year ahead for all of us. :)
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Got my first sugar-coated reprimand this week too. It was pretty depressing actually but my boss was nice and tactful about it. I know it was just a small thing but I came out of that meeting feeling like the worst ABAPer on earth. :( Good thing this one came after the evals. Anyway, the best way to get that confidence back up is...
..loads and loads of work. I have tons of it. I was morning shift for the whole week and I ended up going home at 7 instead of at 3! And to top it all off, I seem to not be getting anything done. This is probably punishment for having had a 5 day weekend last week. But I always keep my end in mind ( vacation on dec 15!).
I've moved my flight back to the Philippines on Dec 19 instead of the 15th. This is so I can join the team building going to Chiang Rai! Team buildings here (for the whole department) is kind of fun and they don't hesitate to spend. Last year, we went to Pattaya and stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel (this being our second week only in the company then). This year, we are going to Chiang Rai and they are spending for our plane tickets. hehehe. The trip is on Dec 16 to 18. Then my flight to Manila is Dec 19 and subsequent flight to Cebu is on the 20th.
I have nearly finished with my Christmas shopping. Too bad I have work this weekend and the next weekend, so I can't shop with Reysiel and Vicky. Ria is coming back this Monday and Eileen is in China already. Then this week, we have our Pinoy Christmas party which should be fun as we are still playing charades (they will never let me forget the time I tried to act out 'Desperado' movie. I think I was just on hyper mode that day...).
And I'm looking forward to visiting Cebu...for a variety of reasons. :)))
Oh, and have i mentioned that I actually went to the Gym twice this week? They are giving me a hard time that I don't do too much exercising as I do rest. But hey, I'm starting myself slow you know. hahaha. The road to fitness cannot be rushed.
So now unfortunately, work beckons. Hmm..but this isn't so bad. After 9 today, I am going to visit my fave mango sticky rice store! :)
Friday, November 18, 2005
1. No work for me from Wednesday to Friday (thanks to the reorg activities in Singapore)
2. Went to the gym for the first time in months
3. Cleaned my room myself for the first time since August
Yes, I have not sat in front of a PC working on some issues for the third straight day in a row. It is rather enjoyable really, having nothing to do, not stressed out at the office trying to finish something within a set deadline. Ahh..this was a great week to reconnect with myself, my room, and me. :)
Last Monday, I went to CM2 with Jco, Paui and Reysiel. Reysiel bought us this margarita pizza, which was really good. Unfortunately, I couldn't drink myself to oblivion because a) it was monday and I still had to get to work the next day , b) not the best place to end up drunk and c) i was never going to drink again (for that night anyway). It would be interesting though to get really drunk right? I have been tipsy on several chosen occasions, but never completely smashed. Which is a pity because this would make for a very interesting experiment. (On Vicky's birthday party, I tried to do a bit of a controlled experiment then when I was trying to determine how many glasses of whisky coke I can push down my throat before the alcohol would climb to my brain. The experiment was a success! I determined that n is equal to, um, well, a certain number of glasses. hehe).
Last Tuesday, we went to this Looy Kratong party held by a real estate company (read: free food and free drinks). The press release said it was a family affair. Hmm...so the definition of a family gathering now includes lewd and suggestive remarks during magic show, songs with blatant sexual innuendos, and half naked dancers (well, almost naked I guess if only their nipples are covered in their upper bodies). Very interesting. The boys had a field day (right Paui? Jco? Jon?). Eileen won big Teddy bear and Paui won a restaurant voucher. I, of course, who have never been lucky in love or in lotto, won nothing.
Near the end of the party, all the guests were given Kratong for us to float into the water. The Thais have this Looy Kratong festival every year. This is basically a Buddhist tradition, where people let float into the water Kratongs made up of banana leaves and decorated with candles and sparklers and let loose into the water for good luck. The Kratongs we were given were made up of only styro foam and paper. But it would have to do. We lighted it up (Jco helped me. and when the sparkler started glowing and strewing its bits of light everywhere, I started to shove it towards him and well, panicked. Obviously, I am not a firecracker type of girl during new year.hehe). Instead of the Chao Phraya river, we used the pool. It was our mini Looy kratong and my first one. So it seemed pretty exciting for me.
On Wednesday, I tore off the veil of laziness hovering over me for the past couple of months and got right down to business. I cleaned my floor, dusted my cabinets, laundered my clothes, scrubbed the bathroom clean and put on new bedsheets. Took me the whole day (in between rest periods.hehe) but I finally finished it. I got panicky when cleaning the bathroom though because the new toilet cleaner I was using suddenly let out white fumes. Thinking I would suffocate inside my own bathroom (flash scenes from Schindler list in the incinerator chamber), I hopelessly grappled with the bathroom door. But the gloves I was wearing prevented me from opening it too easily. Hehehe. Funny now when I think about it, but without the gift of hindsight, I was pretty scared then. hehe.
Then at night, I was woken up from my slumber at around 8pm by Reysiel and the others. They invited me to go out for pizza with them. So having not eaten anything the whole day (well, late lunch at 4pm only), I joined them and we spent an hour and a half talking, commiserating and reminiscing. After which I went back to watching DVDs again in my newly cleaned room.
Thursday, I watched Harry Potter at Emporium. I found the movie pretty good actually and better compared to the first two Potter films. I thought the scenes were done with no loose ends and none of the important parts from the book were left out. The movie was telling the story coherently and not jumping mindlessly from scene to scene (which always happen with movies interpreting books). The others though found it wanting. Eileen theorized it may be because I read the book and they didn't and thus I had a bit more insight into the little nuances, unsaid dialogues and other scenes in the movie. Hmm, so does this mean it always is better to read the book first then watch the movie?
Anyway, I re-read the Book 6 again. I miss reading. I need to buy another book. Any suggestions? Paui asked me on my opinion if Snape was good or bad (in the context of the ending of the last book). His hypothesis was that Snape did what he had to do because, well, the grandmaster ordered him to. I have thought of this before and dismissed it as unlikely. Does anyone know when the last book is going to be released? Because I soo hate waiting for an answer to my questions. I need closure...now! hehehe.
Friday...well, today is still Friday so comments on what stupid thing I did today would have to wait for tomorrow. :)
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
I made my flight back to Bangkok -- serendipitously.
A normal thinking person would have confirmed and found out the exact time of her flight so she would be able to get to the airport on time. But no, for me, I just naturally assumed the time of my flight would be at 3pm, which is the same time as my previous flight. So I woke up on Sunday morning at 1030, took a shower at 11, killed some time by watching TV and went out to the lobby at 1130. I then took a cab around 1145 and my mind was in a leisurely mindset. After all, how can things go wrong? My flight was at 3pm and I was in fact already mulling the various activities I can engage in while waiting for my flight.
Murpy's Law kicked in at around 11:50.
I forgot to ask for the receipt from the driver (300 baht down the drain). Then when I checked in, I found out to my absolute horror that boarding time was at 12:05! A quick glance at my watch told me it was 11:55. Which meant that if I had dilly-dallyed more at the hotel, I would have missed my flight entirely!
Eileen had her housewarming party last night (she moved into this new, shala, bachelorette place). We played charades and ate a lot of food. The charades was fun and each team took turns guessing which movie or song the person in front was miming. We had a hilarious, noisy time and lots of humiliating moments.
When I arrived at my apartment, I received a nice little surprise from Shanghai boy. :) It more than made up for my near-missed-flight fiasco and the perceived untidiness of my room. Ha! He said he owes me one now. I'm going to claim that one someday. :P
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Apparently, plans can change during reorg.
My original 3 day stay has turned into a 9 day work day. I have changed my flight twice, panicked about clothes to wear (thank God I brought enough to last me at least 6 days) and silently contemplated the fact that I barely had enough money with me to tide me over for a week.
So my relaxing monday morning turned out to be a 12 hour work marathon, I checked out of my room and due to lack of space, I had to temporarily move in with a colleague kind enough to offer her own room. And I have to face the prospect of not having a weekend for two consecutive weekends.
And Shanghai boy! I was never even able to say goodbye to him. He sent an email expressing his sadness over our failure to meet prior to his leaving. But alas! Our paths were not destined to cross at this point in time. Perhaps fate has decreed that we have had our moment and that no matter how brief that span of time, it will have to be enough for now...
But apart from the marathon work schedule, things are great here in Singapore. I moved to a new room. There was still the smell of ajas in the morning, but I can withstand bursts of smells. I get free breakfast for three days and I have cable...sort of. I mean, at least I get to watch sitcoms and the OC and CSI. And working here is great for my self esteem. I have recently been fighting doubts about my ABAP skills and secretly dread being massacred during our annual review with my boss. But at least for a week, I feel like I know my ABAP. hehe. They have problems here, I troubleshoot, they are happy and I stop from being paranoid-manic-depressive about my career. For a week anyway. I can get back to worrying about that when I am back in Bangkok. I get free laundry done as well (which is just fortunate because I have run out of clothes) And I was informed I will be back here two more times this month. Of course that means work(a lot of it from the looks of things) and not sightseeing. But then who cares right? I love riding airplanes. hahaha. especially those which offer movies I haven't seen yet. :)
For the two days where we went home before 12 midnight (an achievement in itself), we went to Orchard Road where I specifically requested I wanted to see Lucky Plaza. :P I have always been curious about this Filipino enclave in Singapore and I want to see what is inside. I wanted to see as well if they have Jollibee or at least anything Filipino. Lucky Plaza fell short of my expectations actually. No great big huddles of Filipinos in groups, no tagalog or cebuano words thrown around the room and no Filipino restaurants! It's funny though how my companions were actually very nervous to be in Lucky Plaza and wanted to get out as soon as my curiousity was appeased. :P I found out later that a chop chop body of a Filipino maid (chopped by a fellow Filipino) was found at the back of this small mall, which now made the place kind of creepy in my mind. Anyhow, we proceeded to the other malls like Takashimaya (tama ba) etc, trying to look for Charles and keith and other stalls.
The other day, we rode in this sort of luxury cab. Its appearance was like one of those big black cabs in the early 70's or 60's. It was white, very spacious inside and with a glass separating us from the driver (with a button which we can push if we want our conversations heard by the driver or not). We were a bit hesitant to take a ride in the cab. It looked too posh we might be charged for extra. Turns out, it was ordinary cab fare. hehehe. So we rode in style to the office.
Tomorrow is trip back to Bangkok. I'm thinking of taking the MRT to the airport, just for kicks. I am sure I won't get lost along the way, right? ...right? hehehe.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
I was initially happy. After two and a half years of laboring under my previous company, I have never been sent out on a company-sponsored business trip. So this is the first official work related trip of my career (albeit a relatively short one). It was my first international trip without companions (read: without reysiel to give directions and pay attention to details). Of course, at the back of my mind is always the terrifying possibility I would crash or destroy something or piss the customers off. But hopefully, that wouldn't happen. :P Hopefully.
Beth, Charmaine and Auskie came to visit me minutes after I arrived. We chatted a bit in my hotel room and all three of them were apparently high on something. Hehehe. They accuse the munchkins I brought to be the cause of their hyperactivity. And picture nang picture. So that's what Singapore-based OFWs do. hahaha.
Sunday, I have to go to Marife's for dinner because she is cooking Filipino food! Sana makarating ako dahil the rate things are going, I won't be going home early anytime soon. :(
I have a free day on Monday and I would like to go to Lucky Plaza. They say that its the haven of Filipinos and even posters/commercials there are in Filipino. It would be an interesting sight. I am not so sure yet where I want to go but I will definitely have a leisurely stroll around Singapore malls before my flight back to Bangkok.
TTNP (Till the next post...)
Saturday, October 1, 2005
I just finished my tenth month in Thailand. And in commemoration of this, I am immortalizing these items in my blog. TOP TEN ek-ek in Thailand. hehehe. So me presents...
My TOP TEN...
...memorable Thailand phrases:
1. same same...but different
2. CANNN-NNNNOT! (with matching prolonged Thai accent)
3. I don't know how... (during the stupid-est moment of my life)
4. No more government holidays for me! (when I got scammed)
5. Love you long time dahhling...(again, with matching Thai accent. courtesy of Michi)
6. Sah-tap! (this is supposed to be the word STOP)
7. Wat Arun is always OPEN! (again, during the time I got scammed)
8. Do not write on my map! (during the time I got scammed when the scammer scribbled stuff all over my treasured Bangkok map)
9. Entertainer? (a stupid question a stupid Filipino addressed to Reysiel and me)
10. Constant phrase companions: Sawasdee ka, Khup kun ka(thank you), Mai kao chay (I don't understand), Mai day (not possible), Mae ru (I don't know), Mai chay (No), Mai mi (Don't have), Mai aw (don't like), mai pen rai (no problem), mai chai khon thai (i am not Thai), pu thai mai dai (I don't speak thai), paang mak (very expensive), arui mak mak (very delicious), yu tini ka (here), and the most important --> Tau lai ka? (how much?) Oh di ba...I think I pass survival thai now. hehehe.
...strange things in Thailand I can never understand:
1. KFC sells the gravy (its not free and unlimited!)
2. McDonald's doesn't serve rice. Neither does KFC (buy separately)
3. All the girls are thin with long straight hair
4. Hair straightening costs me only 600 baht here (in Manila, I can spend up to 5k!)
5. Sidewalk vendors can speak in German! (i am not kidding)
6. Filipinos are everywhere here (internet cafes, chatuchak, malls...)
7. Almost all the men here are...effeminate (I have yet to meet one truly musculine, testosterine-filled, pure Thai guy)
According to one study, Thailand has the lowest masculine percentages in the world! I am in the wrong country dammit!!!
8. their bookstores wrap your books with plastic covers! so very convenient!!!
9. Taxi drivers are fast, furious and suicidal (taking their passengers with them)
10. even in the most touristy of places, a Coke can still costs around 20 or 15 baht (unlike in the Philippines where it can go as high as 50 pesos!) No wonder tourists love it here.
1. Got lost in Bangkok when I hopped on the right bus going in the wrong direction
2. Got scammed while trying to be the tour guide for Ria's brother
3. Went backstage to meet Reysiel's favorite band
4. Met my iniirog #1,and #2 for the first time
5. talking to Shanghai boy till 3 am (ha-ha-ha)
6. went on the Chiang mai trek (with Eileen), drunk and sleepless
7. inside a bar for the first time in my life (never been to one back home)
8. inside a Patpong bar for the first time and saw the infamous PingPong shows
9. Spending Christmas Day with then-strangers (I just met them the previous Sunday at church.hehe)
10. A little girl blandly telling me 'You are sooo fat' before running off to play.
Ahh, Bangkok's just peachy, isn't it?'
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
1. Work is stressful and seem to be piling up more and more everyday. I seemed to have reached a bottleneck in my work pile and the backlog just keeps piling up without anything getting accomplished at all. Good thing there is #4 to look forward to. hahaha.
2. My family just bought a computer, swiped it on my card and now I have instant debt. While I am happy that they are happy, this one tiny part of me resents the fact that I have to put off my Christmas shopping for next month because of this...
3. I've recently felt like an ATM by my family. I mean, hello, do I grow cash out of my ears? Wish I did though. hahaha.
4. Shanghai boy is coming back next week. His training in China just ended and he is dropping by BKK before going back to Europe. I haven't replied to his last email yet, trying to formulate the proper response (di masyadong excited na reply and trying to be standoffish) and of course, there is always the added satisfaction that I made him wait for an email. I've been so very good lately and suddenly, fate presents me with delectable tempation. Sayang...but really, I have to snatch my hand away...really...
5. I had my hair rebonded. It was fine for the first 3 days. Then WHAM! It becomes curvy again. I swear I am curling my hair soon.
6. pesteng giatay! ngano man intawn gipakita pa ko ug litrato na magka akbay sila?
7. I want to go to Hongkong Disneyland! Anybody coming with me? hehehe.
And those are my whine-outs...what are yours? (hahaha. cheerful day noh?)
Sunday, September 18, 2005
But weirdly enough, I feel so restless, almost afraid of something or panicky...I don't know. I think I suck at work lately. I thought maybe I just lacked sleep from all the studying I have done for the past week but I should be relieved already right? Instead, I watched at least 3 episodes of Friends last night, then had this uncontrollable urge to go to the Thonglo BTS station and buy my favorite mango and sticky rice (its really really good.) Hmm..maybe later tonight, I will do that on my own.
I watched Hotel Rwanda last night. What a really depressing movie. Horrible, horrible...really horrible. I kept crying most of the time. I can't believe why people would commit such atrocities. And to kill with machetes! (ok, so maybe this is the culprit of my awful mood last night).
Last Friday, we went out to see Reysiel's fave band with the rest of the Filipino gang ( we have momentarily stopped hanging out with the Germans because they were a bit too annoying already). It was fun, although there were a few scary moments there when some horny, DOM would come up to us and we would scurry away like frightened rabbits. Well, Reysiel got her song dedication from eminem. And we met Ms. Yen's husband (ahh, the most cynical of us was showing her im-in-love side. It was a hopeful sight).
Ok, gotta go fetch my laundry. Can't believe Decmber is soooo far away.... :(
Sunday, August 14, 2005
But this weekend, we had visitors from Singapore (welcome Beth, Auskie and Charmaine and friends!) and Ellen (our half Nepalese, half German friend) is staying with me, so I have had to drag myself out of hibernation mode and into real life.
Saturday morning, we accompanied our Singapore visitors on their shopping frenzy. Started with JJ market, went on to Siam, then to Pratunam then to Siam again where we waited at Starbucks while they finished their rounds in Siam Center. I bought a lot of bikinis for my sisters! hehehe. I am beginning my pasalubong shopping already for home as I might have visitors from Cebu soon. Saturday night, we went to see the All Star band (formerly the Opera band from Zantika). The place was a bar in a hotel but it was a very strange place. The older crowd (and older foreigners apparently) patronized the place. And there were a lot of pok-poks, both foreign and local there. Anyway, we were in a big group filled with girls so it is ok. But I don't think I want to go back there again.
Then we rushed straight to patpong to see the gay shows. Unfortunately, we were too late and we didn't see any 'action'. It was disappointing but maybe next time, we will catch them. :)
They left already and I am feeling a bit groggy and sleepy today. Even as I am writing this one, I slowly feel energy drained out of me. When did blog writing or writing anything for that matter seem so tiring and draining?
Next week, morning shift. Good luck to me.
Friday, July 8, 2005
Reysiel and I arrived in Changi airport about an hour late (air asia is always delayed, I think). We had some uncertain moments when we couldn't find the other girls (who came from Manila) and were just wondering what to do, especially since we couldn't contact them since Reysiel's roaming hadn't taken effect yet. But when we were just going out of the door, we saw Marf and Raine and Maricar and Jo looking all pretty and refreshed and thinner! (ayan Marf, bumawi na ako ha. hehe).
We went straight to our hotel room to get settled and Reysiel got all her stuff from Jo (imported from Manila!). Then we went to Bugis and roamed around Singapore's building-rich metropolis. Of course, at every street juncture, we stopped to take pictures, never mind if passers-by couldn't pass through anymore because we were blocking the street. And we ran like crazy everytime we crossed a street (mga promdi ata kami dun).
We went to three malls before we finally met up with the Singapore people -- Auskie, Charmaine, Ferdie, Robert and Beth -- the buddy batch! Aba, at gumaganda at gumagwapo pala mga tao if nakatira sa Singapore. hehehe. And there we were all together, crowded in Marche restaurant, chattering and talking and swapping stories and jokes. Nakakasenti...just two years ago, we were all sharing the same team building activities for T03, tapos ngayon, kita kits sa singapore na and belonging to totally different companies.
So after dinner (where they had their fill...i was struggling to eat at all due to my swelling gums from the dental operation), we went to the different Quays (it took me a while to realize you pronounce it like Keys...nakakahiya. hehe). We even entered Fullerton hotel to use their washroom. hahaha. Marf, Jo and Charmaine also went the bungee jumping thing...thanks to marf's syuta... :)
The next day, we went to the Singapore Zoo! While I am not exactly a big fan of animals, (except for the open zoo at Safari World), I enjoyed going around their zoo. (and taking pictures with the animals. hehe). Unfortunately, it rained there (when we were at the end most part of the zoo pa!) so we had to wait awhile after finally, we decided to take the tram car instead back to the entrance. Then in the afternoon, we went to Sentosa. Much to my chagrin, the cable car was not functional. But Sentosa was fun (but expensive). We saw the dolphins (i swear, i am never watching another dolphin show. The Sentosa Dolphin show was not fun...their narrative and script was too dramatic and too lousy, the whole act boring and the dolphins were too far out doing their ring hopping thing and all). But the underwater world was cool because we got to see a lot of really big fishes. I mean, the fishes were even bigger than their aquarium size sharks! (which they probably did on purpose so the sharks wouldn't eat the little fishes, right?). We smelled a lot of Aja's there in the underground and thankfully, we survived.
Outside, we bought these ice thingies (what are they called again?). They were like snow cones (from STC. hehe). Then Raine was trying to attract this pretty peacock...and she was sooo successful...too successful in fact that we had to run away when it came too close. hehe.
Then we watched the Laser show (at night. duh). It was during this time that my friends told me something that they obviously did not want me to know (for fear of what ??). While it shocked me a bit, it wasn't enough to dampen my spirits during the sentosa thing. It made me think though and reflect on my life and heart matters. Anyhow...the show was great and really cool. We had a bit of trouble going home (which involved Marf and Raine being bumped against smelly AJAs inside the bus) but we were able to get a taxi-van and got back to the hotel.
Reysiel, Marf and I were fetched by Marf's syuta and off we went to Insomniac - a bar in Chijmes. The band playing was Filipino and most of the crowd were Pinoys. The songs were really cool at first and we danced (Marf was even excited to see Reysiel dance on stage. Marf, punta ka bangkok at sasayaw tlaga si Reysiel sa entablado ng Zantika. hehe. part na ng bangkok tour yan eh. di ba reys?) And its true that you will never get drunk in Singapore because the drinks are expensive (not that I paid koz Marf's syuta again footed the bill. Go Marf! hehe). Oh and one embarrassing thing happened to me there...i fell off my stool sa bar and fell to the floor -- and this happened near the stage!!!
It was a fun day with a fun night to boot. :) Auskie, beth , Ferdie, Robert and Menggay...thanks for making sama sa amin sa Singapore ha! :) Can't wait to see you guys here in Bangkok in August (tama ba?).
The next day, as promised, I hung out with Claire and Eileen...two friends from different times in my life whom I never thought would hang out together. Hehe. I was hanging out on SUnday with type A personalities...hmm...not the most relaxing. Thanks Claire and Eileen..i had so much fun. They were even kidding me that they had to sacrifice their lungs because I wanted to see Little India. We went to Little China, Little India and had a foodfest at Singapore (despite my swelling gums) and smoked flavorful smoke ( i have no idea what it was) at an Arabian restaurant. As usual whenever I am with either Claire or Eileen, we talk about life, about books they have read (i was embarrassed to admit the last book I read was mainstream fiction by Robert Ludlum) and their work (i was out of the loop on this one as they are both P&G people). I slept over at Claire's house and we made tsika until the morning, afterwhich I took a cab back to my hotel.
Then it was back to reality once again as Reysiel and I headed for Bangkok (with Jo in another flight). My gums were painfully throbbing by then, but all in all, it was an enjoyable experience. :) Sa uulitin! (but sa ibang bansa naman...hehehe.)
Saturday, June 11, 2005
- sent email of apology to aunt (of course, she didnt reply yet)
- forgave my cousin
- call up every aunt and uncle and make small talk
- have my sis and dad reconcile
Now maybe after things settle down, then I can go home because i already miss being in Cebu terribly. This is the longest duration i went on without a trip home. And while my life has been filled with great friends and fun activities, nothing beats being able to go home to family. :(
Cross your fingers for me. :)
Monday, May 30, 2005
I slept over at Wen's hotel last night and we just made some tsika tsika (last time we did that was October last year before I left for Cebu). It was really great talking to her. She is one of those people na alam kong kahit anong kagaguhan gawin ko, she would never judge me and just listen and give sound advice (and thankfully, I have been blessed with friends like her too. hahaha).
Anyway, on the way home, I tried to get a taxi. But apparently, getting a taxi in tourist-rich Pratunam is expensive. Just for a trip to Petchburi, they charge me 200 baht! Are they friggin' kidding me? So I opted to take the bus instead. And knowing my space out moments most of the time, I took the right bus on the wrong side. So I got to go on a Petchburi tour and had to rely on the mercy of some kind Thai people to get me on the correct bus (which unfortunately turned out to be not air conditioned. Is this an example of the saying that the right way is not always the quickest and most convenient?)
I think I need to go grocery shopping. My fridge is really empty (save for milk and water). But then, I am supposed to be on a diet. So I shouldn't be thinking of food at all. What a dilemma. Maybe I should just have that fridge taken away. hahaha.
I have to get back to my laundry now. Ciao!
PS. I am so excited for my Singapore trip already. Marf sent the itinerary and I can't wait to see Claire also! :)
Sunday, May 29, 2005
It's not that I am into the whole spaceships and guns-in-space fighting stuff. Far from it. I detest gun fighting. But maybe I am just a sucker for saga stories. I like watching how people evolve from evil to good, or vice versa. And I like watching epic battle scenes, where people fight from an underdog perspective and overthrow and existing evil Empire. (and so you can already predict that I will be buying the Lord of the Rings DVD soon at Pantip Plaza as well. hehe.) Besides, the young Harrison Ford's cockiness is so appealing in that movie that I just might buy the whole Indiana Jones trilogy as well.
Reysiel and I also just finished watching 'Save the Last Dance For Me'. Grabe. Ang gwapo naman ni Adrian/Francis. He is just so boyishly adorable. Sigh. I'm in love na. I will soon pay Korea a visit to find him. (and Ki-Joo. hahaha. Folks, this is why I can't snag a bf yet because I am already in love with telly heroes. hahaha.).
I got sick this week (the whole week) and unfortunately, it was my turn to do morning shift. I was able to survive Monday to Thursday, but had to absent from work on Friday. My cough and colds are probably due to the non stop going out last weekend (starting Thursday) because it was Andy's last weekend here in Bangkok. Oh and that Saturday, we went to this pub in Kao-san Road, and it was so full of gwapo people. (I think i am RH already. hahaha)
Wen is also here in Bangkok. (yey!). I got to see her last night and Friday night but we didn't get to talk much as she was with her family. Anyway, she will be leaving tomorrow so I definitely have to talk to her tonight to catch up on some good ol' chika from back home.
Reys and I went shopping at Suan Lum last night. And we bought these really cool earrings na hindi pantay. One side is short and the other is kinda long. It looks really funny, but really cute and cool and very chic.
I was supposed to do laundry and all these domestic stuff today, but it is just so freaking hot that I couldn't bear to do it. Oops...Reysiel just called. Got to go back home and review all the stuff she bought from JJ market. :)
(jo, nothing happened when I got drunk. Don't worry. hehe. I just don't like to drink again, that's all). Ciao.
Sunday, May 8, 2005
Friday night - Reysiel, Eileen, Vicky (with Thomas, Tangkad and a drunk Ralph) went to Code. It was ladies' night, which meant we could drink all the gin sprite we want. Which unfortunately meant all of us became a teeny bit tipsy which contributed to our lively dancing. After Code, Len and the others wanted to go to Mountainbike, but Reysiel and I decided to go to Zantika despite our drunken selves. In Zantika, Reysiel exhibited a spirited rush of willpower, powered her way to the front of the stage, then to backstage to meet our favorite Eminem singer. I swear, I just felt dizzy and disoriented and a bit tipsy. I felt like Reysiel and I were groupies that night. hehe. But it was fun. Second time Reysiel and I went to Zantika (just the two of us). I swear Reys, the third time, we are going to pick up some hot men. hahaha.Then we had to go back home so I can pack for Chiang mai and she can pack for her beach trip. Then we got to watch one episode of OTH season 2 before I decided to go back to my room and wake up my sleeping and obviously drunk chiangmai partner.
So off we went to the airport with Len sleeping in the taxi most of the way. :)When we got to Chiangmai, we decided to sign up for a trekking tour (take note: no breakfast yet, no sleep at all, and a lot of alcohol in our bloodstream).
So our van picked us up and we joined our group (four english, one american, one canadian, one german). We went on a trek up to a hill tribe first and I was surprised and horrified to learn that we were expected to go up a mountain peak on foot! We even had to cross this rickety hanging bridge which looked like it was going to self destruct any second (i even asked our guide if that bridge had ever fallen before and without missing a beat, he answered, 'Yes, once before'. Not entirely reassurring).
After the trek, (and several horrifying life defining moments later), we were on our elephant ride tour. It was really cool, save for some moments when I thought that our elephant would tumble down the cliff. It was too bad that the trainers used hooks which they stuck into the elephant's ear when the latter became out of hand. It made us wince and grimace everytime the trainers did that. :( But on the bright side, while going up and down the hills, the elephants in turn peed and dropped huge pieces of feces all over the place. Very interesting concept of fertilizing the soil).
The group then had lunch at this 'village' which roughly translated to an unfinished housing structure in the middle of nowhere. But the food was really good. (or maybe we were just too hungry after the gruelling activities). Then we went to have some bamboo rafting. This was really cool. We get to sit on a raft made up of 6 bamboo pieces strung together with two people on either end pushing and pulling the raft over rocks in shallow water. I found it unexpectedly fun and a really long trip too. Eileen slipped several times and fell on the water when we were trying to push the raft (at times, we were too heavy for the raft to actually pull through certain areas with us on it).
The next few days, we visited Thailand’s highest peak, the Royal Winter Palace (where the strawberries where yummy and we found a Martha Stewart house there) and beautiful waterfalls.
It is great that this country’s infrastructure is good for tourists in terms of travel etc. Made me wish the Philippines were this ready and prepared to welcome tourists. Our roads for one are barely passable. :(
We failed to find Little Zantika though. Maybe next time I visit Chiang Mai then. Something which I will definitely do in the not so distant future...
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Last night, we went out to this techno/hip hop/liveband bar for the farewell party of Thomas and Jon's birthday party. The club, as expected, was teeming with people all out for a good time on a Friday night. Eileen and I were the only representatives of the Filipino connexion as Reysiel and Ria were probably too tired to go party last night. I had fun and I didn't drink too much as our bosses were there to party as well (this is the really strange thing in Siemens. when we party, we always see our German bosses partying as well. One of our bosses-- the one who hired us -- even told us we girls were ever present at all the parties! Hello! sya din noh. hahaha).
Anyway, the funny events last night:
1. said hi, hello, good bye and toasted with a Thai celebrity(one of the half Thai, half Danish trainees in the office). Reportedly, he is a soap opera actor/model and his brother is this hotshot singer/actor here. Of course, we dont know him from Adam as we don't really watch Thai operas do we? But heck, if they say he is celebrity status, who are we to argue? We just befriend, say hi-hello, and hope he brings his brother with him to parties one day. hahaha. (That is Yui's battlecry BYB! (bring your brother). By the way, he is cute, but in an effeminate sort of way so characteristic of the males here. But Eileen, kakaibiganin na natin di ba? hahaha.
2. a guy tried to pick me up..which scared the hell out of me by the way. I couldn't find Eileen or Vicky or Thomas or anyone remotely familiar in the crowded bar and this guy just started talking to me . He thought I was Thai, then Singaporean, until I had to correct him to say I was Filipina. Then he tried to give me a beer and I very politely refused. He was very insistent that I have a drink. He even introduced me to his other friends there too and bragged that he was a graphic designer choo-choo and worked four years in London or something. Very nice, but as he was unfamiliar and while not really ugly, he just wasnt my type, I wanted to get away and find Eileen. Finally, I found Vicky in the crowd and just sidled next to her for my safe zone and totally ignored the guy afterwards. :P
3. one of our colleagues i was talking to, during the course of our shouting conversation, mentioned again about the 'boyfriend' i had back home. I had to correct him real fast. hahaha. but damn, the second guy to hint I had a bf. Hello. Do I have spoken-for written all over me? How ironic is that? This is so bad for my dating prospects here (which is close to nil of course. hahaha).
Went to have dinner with Eileen and tangkad and vicky and nicole last night. Got pretty pissed actually on how tangkad was so rude and so obnoxious. Well..no accounting for taste.
This morning after cleaning the room and doing mini laundry (mini because I plan to do major laundry this Friday pa), I am here looking for a place to stay in chiang mai for Len and me. And I found it! Its in the middle of town. Hopefully, ok ito and Eileen wouldn't kill me if the place is crappy. And I am looking over stuff to do in Chiangmai. :) Excited na ako. There is this big lake for swimming and hiking places. And maybe I can goad Eileen to teach me to ride a bike. hahaha. (clap clap clap).
Chatted with my sisters yesterday to plan their trip. Decided I will send letter of apology to aunt today in an attempt to reconcile with her. (oh brother). And I currently have 400 baht spendable amount until sweldo this Monday. God help me. hehe.
So that was my life this week. :) How was yours?
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Today, I had a bit of general cleaning in my room, turned everything upside down and inside out, took off my bedsheets and mopped the whole damn floor. I don't know where this bit of energy and perseverance came from. But now I have a clean floor, clean cabinets, newly scrubbed bathroom and no bedsheets. Which is why I am going to Big C today to get new bedsheets (it was supposed to be MBK but it's too far and I am not really in the mood to go to far places just now).
I hate my auntie !!! as in really. I am trying to not be provoked by all this...but I am not a very patient person after all...
Got to chat with my cuz Harry. Now I feel homesick (just a bit) but not enough to make me want to go home...not just yet...
This week, I had two dinners with my girl friends and it was really fun (think brunch like Sarah Jessica Parker and friends. haha). And I really miss doing that--- just having dinner and having a good chat and laughing with friends. Made me think of my Accenture days in Manila where I just hung out at Starbucks or Greenbelt with my friends (especially my batchmates) and we just bitch about our work, talk about our non existent (for some of us anyway) lovelives and our half formed plans. Now I feel even more homesick just reminiscing. But never mind because I will hopefully see most of them in Singapore this June anyway. Yey!
Last night, we went to Silom and we were supposed to have dinner at a Korean restaurant (me, Reysiel, an Indonesian friend and a Thai friend). But we saw all these people playing with water guns and dousing people with water and powder, so we decided on a safer course and ducked into the nearest shopping mall and just decided to find food there. :) Had dinner (really yummy Thai food) then had pancakes for dessert (yum). I was really full but really sleepy afterwards. It was a fun dinner. We just laughed and had this game where we asked each other questions and everybody had to answer each question. Really trivial, but fun.
I have to go now. I still have to buy new hot pink bedsheets. hahaha.
Saturday, April 9, 2005
I talked to my sister last night (due to a chronic bout of homesickness) and we discussed arrangements for them to come here. I am so excited. Yehey! We discussed our family problem as well and I still cannot get over the fact really over the immaturity of my aunt in handling conflicts and misunderstandings. I am really disappointed but I have long since decided to not stoop to her level.
Things to look forward to:
1. Chiang Mai trip with Eileen this first week of May. Len promised to make me go trekking and do nature trails and stuff. It is not really my cup of tea, but it sounds exciting. hahaha. As long as I get to ride on an elephant, my Chiang Mai trip will be well worth it.
2. Singapore Trip this June. :) I am meeting my batchmates in Singapore this June and Claire din of course. I am so excited. My second country to visit (after Thailand). So sobrang cool.
3. My sisters' visit. --> yehey! hehehe.
Told Raine about Shanghai Boy already over AOL as Reysiel, Raine and I just chatted as we felt too tamad last week. I'm not sure if Raine would be seeing me in a similar light after that. hahaha. Now I have decided not to take on any more boys after that. hahaha.
The girls and I have been to Zantika twice this week, on consecutive days. Reysiel made her 'Honey' debut on stage no less! Next time, we will be issued Zantika Gold passes and our passports won't even be checked at the door anymore. hahaha. We will most likely go out tonight but not Zantika. ;)
Eileen took us to Kao-san the other day. It looked pretty much like Walking street, only without the screaming girls dancing on poles or on top of tables. And we met some of German friends of Michael (len's trainee friend). They were ok, as usual speaking in their own tongue despite the fact that they had other people who couldn't understand a word they are saying. English must really be such a difficult language for them to muster to push them to such rudeness (sarcasm intended). We saw lot of travel agencies in Kao san road, offering cheap packages for tours around Thailand. It gave me an idea on where to take my sisters during their stay here.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
But this week, I got to exchange a flood of emails with Anna, Claire and Wen. I also made plans with Claire to go to Singapore in May. I am excited about that. And of course, I exchanged emails with Shanghai boy and goddess so I feel pretty upbeat about that. Also, my sisters are coming over in May. It will mean a big dent in my pockets and in my still non existing savings, but I am excited that they are coming over. I know they are really looking forward to this trip and I want to make them happy.
Len and I did laundry today. We spent over two hours though for our laundry as we discovered too late that one -- no, two of the machines weren't working. But it was a fun two hours which we spent alternately reading and talking. Good thing Len allowed me to rant. It felt really good to get stuff off my chest. Then once we got home, I cleaned my room and arranged some stuff (which wasn't that hard since I don't have that much stuff to arrange).
Then now I am here in the internet cafe trying to look over the cheapest flights to get to Singapore and to other countries (yes Len, I am so tempted to get a flight to Shanghai. hahaha...just kidding).
I am still currently debating whether I should go to Emporium to buy books, to Siam to buy clothes, to Foodland to buy food or just stay home and sleep. Or maybe I should go to the office and work? Hmm...naahh..it would just kill me probably.
I watched the movie 'Before Sunrise' (or was it after Sunset?) starring Ethan Hawke and this girl. It was a pretty cute movie. Not much action, just a boy and girl talking on the train, had chemistry, went to Vienna and talked some more while going around the city. Pretty cool. As usual, tinulugan ako ng kapitbahay ko while we watched the film. (first Reysiel, now Len...Ria, are you next?)
When we went to the Escudo bar last friday (for Andy F's farewell party I guess), I must have been a bit tipsy already because when I went to the bathroom, I just realized that I cut myself without even realizing it. There were blood around two of my fingers. Anyway, the next day, I discovered a cut on one of my knuckles and my paranoid mind was thinking it was a glass lodged (for forever it seemed to me). And I had these thoughts about tetanus infection. But last night, while watching a movie, I just mindlessly plucked it out and it was gone, just like that. Makes me realize that I do worry over really really small things which have really simple solutions.
This post has become a mindless chitchat thing. Have to stop my blabbering and be back with something useful and profoundly useless. :)
Monday, March 14, 2005
I hate being happy one second, then depressed the next. It makes the latter feel even more pronounced, more prolonged, more painful.
I hate not having anything substantial to look forward to in the future.
I hate the feeling of lacking anything. Makes my life seem inadequate and meaningless.
I hate feeling I lack something, when everyone else around me says otherwise. It makes me feel stupid, ungrateful, thoughtless, inconsiderate and selfish.
And most of all, I hate feigning happiness, when in fact the very opposite is what I exactly want to feel at the moment.
PS. So strange that after writing this, I immediately feel better now. hahaha. I suppose I just needed an outlet for my theatrical moments. :)
Sunday, March 13, 2005
These past two weeks I have done things which would have surprised even me, and I felt that I have crossed over the boundary of optimism and pessimism and went straight into the travails of cynicism. It is almost funny that these days, I harbor no hope at all of things getting better for me, of growing as a person, of meeting that One Great Love, of finding that life Treasure, of following my own dreams and ambition. It is as if somehow I have come to realize that that kind of existence isn't for me, that that it isn't my reality at all. And with this realization came a quiet acceptance that this is as good as life gets. If it gets better, then well and good, but I don't really expect it to.
I've been reading two of Paolo Coelho's books lately (courtesy of eileen) and its tragically funny to note the dissonance between what he is saying in his books and the events happening in my life. Instead of doing my one great passion, of finding my dreams and doing what I am born to do, I am now stuck in life's rat race. I am in a profession that wasn't even part of my childhood aspirations, doing something everyday that does not really add to my sublime happiness. The promise of a lifetime of epiphany does not really become a reality for me.
Yet what is more funny (or more pathetic) is that when I am asked what I want to do that would make me really happy, I really don't have an answer. I have this sudden impulses to become a writer, a journalist, a documentary filmmaker for Discovery channel -- yet that is what they all are. Sudden impulses. I have no burning childhood ambition, no long lost dream, no visions of what I can do to radically change the face of humanity.
So maybe I am just this pragmatic, shallow, superficial, materialistic individual reduced to living life on earth to fulfill basic survival instincts. I could apologize for being that kind of person, but I am not. I can pretend to be profound and deep and say that I have always had this burden of being blah blah blah, but I cannot. I prefer practicality over dreams, of survival over visions, of the present instead of the unknown future. And thus I sadly declare that I am doomed to a lifetime of perfect mediocrity.
Tuesday, February 8, 2005
|Siemens German trainees and Eileen surprising me on my birthday|
After eating, we helped Eileen move her stuff downstairs. She is moving down to the 4th floor. Next month, I will be taking the room next to hers . Yippee...actually having my own place. :) Now I can entertain men. JUST KIDDING MOM! hahahaha. After moving Len's stuff, making a lot of racket in the room, I had to eventually retire to bed as I need to be in the office at 6 am the next day.
Monday, February 7, 2005
Last night, Ria, Eileen, Reysiel and Mervin greeted me at around 12 mn with delicious cake and a gift (pink floral skirt)! I was so touched (I haven't celebrated my birthday or had cake with candles on it for that matter since I came to Manila in 1998 so thanks really :) ). I really wanted to burst into my trademark tears but I couldn't because I was just too happy and chirpy. While we ate cake, we watched pictures (via Reysiel's brand new DVD) and reminisced about T03, about Accenture and the fun team buildings we had.
Today I feel so very girly because I am wearing the pink floral skirt and white halter top with pink sandals and pink bag (good thing I bought this pink bag yesterday!). I went out with some people from church yesterday and watched the Aviator (Leo looks so hot. God, can I have a guy who looks just like that?hehehe).
My 5 year plan officially went bust today. But no matter, because the 4 year plan is quickly and automatically taking its place. hahaha. I have birthday resolutions starting on this 24th year and I promise to stick to it while I can.
1. I will never whine again. Life has been good to me, considering. My life isn't perfect, but then it hasn't been that bad either. I have great friends, a good job, wonderful family and my finances are beginning to take shape. A more thankful disposition wouldn't hurt right?
2. I will be more active in church. :) Self explanatory I think.
3. I will live a more healthy lifestyle (ok, so this one is open to argument. A healthy lifestyle after all can be relative to what one thinks is healthy).
4. I will be more prudent with my money (promise!)
5. My four year plan can take a backseat in my life plans (really). :) It may or it may not come. It may come down to a 6month plan...it may come down to a whirlwind 1week plan...but it ain't (oops...wrong grammar) going to be at the top of my to-do list this year.
6. I will be willing to take more risks -- in anything. (calculated risks of course. haha).
7. Less sensitive (if at all possible) and become not so anti-social to other people I dont really want to talk to. (in short, I will learn to be plastic to people I don't really feel like talking to. It is just social justice. )
I can't think of others yet. But I am 24 now. I once wrote in my Sun Star column (ages ago when I was 18 )that 18 was just a number. And let me paraphrase that. Twenty-four is definitely just a number because -- well, just because. :) I don't make any sense now do I? hahahaha.
Wednesday, February 2, 2005
My mom and dad emailed me again (I think this time, they did it without the help of either of my sisters. Wow! My parents are already hi-tech.) They just emailed me that they have received the money already...warned me not to be drunk-galore on my birthday (DAD! I won't even drink --- promise.)...told me not to change buildings but instead be in the same one as my friends (sila ra daw akong kaila in Bangkok)...drink vitamins...drink milk...all the usual parent stuff. I miss them and I like hanging around them sometimes. But somehow I am glad they are in Cebu. I would never be able to go out as much with them around (i know...i am such a goody-goody whenever I am in Cebu). hehehe. Not that I am saying I am not here in Bangkok...
One of my church friends is offering her place in Central Lhadprao. Unfortunately, that is like miles away from my workplace. Maybe miles is a bit exaggerated, but it is a bit far. Plus the traffic and the commuting...tsk tsk tsk. Too bad, it was near to four malls too and to Chatuchak market as well.
Talking about Chatuchak still reminds me of the golden spoons I bought at an exorbitant, horrifyingly large price for utensils. I still cannot forget about it. I am never buying kitchen utensils on my own---- ever. (even buying the extremely useful microwave oven has not eased my mind about this matter. Now I am thinking if even the microwave was a necessary expense!)
Boyband talked to me again -- something about tickets to manila. Unfortunately, I zoned out again (dahil cute nga sya) and I came up with a response which was less than inadequate and incomprehensible English (in short, I answered jibberish to a very simple query). When would I stop making a freakshow of myself and try to at least decently reply to his questions? sigh. Makes me wish he will go back to Europe and leave me with my dignity intact (or whatever is left of it).
It is nearly 6pm na and I have got to go to the gym. So till here. TTFN! :)
Tuesday, February 1, 2005
9 - Panginoong Iniirog #1(with his gorgeous eyes) is sitting in front of me
8 - Another interesting Thai Language lesson later tonight
7 - Jo and Beth coming over to visit us in Bangkok next week
6 - Made more new friends at church last Sunday and made more weekend plans with them
5- McDonald's here has nescafe float
...Oh sod it. I'll begin another list tomorrow...
I wasn't able to go out last night due to this pain in my arms, my shoulders and my head. Not that I would have went out if my conditions were normal, as I am currently working on a shoestring budget for February. Sigh. Makes me sometimes resent the fact that I have to give a large portion of my earnings to my family. Makes me sometimes envy people who do not carry this burden. It is not that I do not have the choice -- the choice to not give and withhold are always there -- but the situation is such that there is no choice at all. That there may be an option B, but doing option B would make the situation far worse still and not produce any good at all, and thus there is essentially no choice in the matter but to go for option A -- that is to give. That is my fundamental option (for better or for worse).
You know how the cliche goes about women who put their family first and they end up in lonely spinsterhood? That is a future I am so afraid of (knock on wood). What if I become so engrossed in putting my sister through school, taking care of my parents and over-all being so occupied with family matters that I totally ignore or put aside my own personal life? Am I doomed to a love-less, lonely future? Will I be a crabby, mad spinster when I grow older? (shudder, shudder, shudder).
Ok, this post is getting too depressing. Must be the symptoms of nearly growing a year older. Good morning to you and to me!
Saturday, January 29, 2005
My roommates arrived home around half past one and I was pretty pissed to realize that I wasn't part of their luncheon plans. They didn't even ask! And I had not eaten lunch so I could wait for them. Pissed would definitely be a crass understatement (I got so pretty dissed that as usual, I ended up crying). My pet peeves in life are eating alone and being left behind and they all managed to accomplish that in one clean sweep! If they don't care too much for my company during eating time, then I for one am not forcing it on them. Hmp.
Yes, I am still sulking a bit. And so I am pouring this all out in this post because writing it down on my ballpen-friendly diary would be such a waste (and my notebook probably wouldn't survive it) and my hands couldn't keep up with the furious speed of my thoughts right now. Hopefully, I will be a bit calm and rational later, but how can I be right now when I am still hungry as I have not eaten my lunch yet? (Obviously, I am in a childish frame of mind, but indulge me. I have promised myself anyway this wouldn't happen often).
Later tonight, I will be joining some other friends for bowling, dinner and movie. Hopefully, I will be able to get there safely as I do not even know where the place is. And hopefully, I would be in a much better frame of mind then. Better yet, maybe throwing the bowling ball would be a good way to relieve my stress and other problems crowding my mind right now.
I want to watch Lovers in Paris again. hahaha. I know the story of an unaffected, cute girl and a millionaire businessman is such a cliche already but it is just really funny, kilig and relaxing to watch. It is different from meteor garden in that the characters really show intimate moments like just holding hands or supporting each other...I don't know. It makes me wish I will fall in love soon...hahahaha.
I have to do some serious chatting with my aunt first. Catch you later. (see, my mood is better already).
Thursday, January 27, 2005
I wore pants today :( as I have ran out of weareable skirts to wear. Wearing skirts just seems to increase my estrogen level to heightened proportions. hahaha. Note to self: buy more skirts (and Ria did promise to help me choose which printed skirts and matching tops to buy as I am hopelessly incapable of such decisions).
Oh and my cousin informed me that SMB suffered a heartbreaking lost to the 'lucky' Gin masters. Thanks to a 'tsamba' shot by M.C. I feel sad but I feel confident that the team can bounce back from this debacle and get back into their winning form again (but then last year, when their winning stride was cut short by an unexpected loss, they never won anything in the semis afterwards.) I hope they won't be like that again.
Did I mention that last Tuesday, my friends and I had our first Thai language lesson? It was fun but I pronounced all the words horribly, horribly wrong. My Cebuano lineage and accent contributed to my inability to be softspoken and sound even remotely sweet and high pitched (the Thai sound). I can't be malamya, malambing or even malumay. BISDAK dyud ko!!! No wonder the taxi drivers can't understand me when I give a simple direction like LIAO SAI (turn left). They all give me this blank expressions like they couldn't understand me. I pronounced it perfectly (I did! I did!) but with the correct intonation. dili mi magkasinabot!!! ambot nlng dyud. hmp. isog ra daw kaayu ko.
BISDAK LAGI KO!!! KAHIBAW NAKO ANA!!! DUGAY RA!!! hehehe.
Well, I have that feeling now and I feel so damn uneasy. It’s not the best feeling to have in the morning. I don’t recommend you starting the day with this. I did something wrong—again – and hopefully, I won’t get fired for this. Why do I always end up with these kind of mistakes? Ever since high school, I keep having the same problems. It’s a miracle I even got to graduate. Am I just the very picture of mediocrity or what? L
I’ve drank my first cup of coffee for the day. Curiously, that failed to cheer me up at all. I need cheering up!!! And to top it all off, my cousin has not reported if SMB lost or won last night. Great day. And here I thought that starting the day with Nescafe would ensure having one. That commercial is so dead wrong.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Now, a month and a half into my Bangkok stay and I heard that they are on a winning streak since after the regular round!!! Imagine to my chargrin that had I but waited a few more days before leaving the Philippines then I at least could have brought with me the sweet memory of a healthy Danny Seigle playing with the elegant finesse and sheer intensity of yore (yore equivalent to 2000 and 2001 here).
So here I am, patiently waiting in an internet cafe for live updates from well-meaning friends and fellow SMB fanatics. Would they win? Would they prevail over an arrogant Caguioa (who had declared they would win over smb and lose just one game). Ha and ha and ha! I am so sorry to all Ginebra fans out there...but that kind of prediction from a player who scored less than five points in a game during the fourth quarter should not merit any kind of credibility at all. If someone has the gumption to make that kind of daring (and hopefully, untrue) prediction should try to beef up his statement with action.
(Hopefully SMB wins tonight so I don't have to eat my words). Last night, I dreamt that my cousin told me that unfortunately San Miguel lost to Ginebra in the deciding game. But isn't it old wive's tale that the opposite of the dream usually happens? Then following this well defined and well proven logic, San Miguel should be a shoo-in for the win tonight then, right?
Too bad we only get three English speaking channels on our cable here in Bangkok (two and a half. Discovery channel sometimes is dubbed in Thai. grr!! ). I wish we had a Filipino channel. Calling ABS CBN...please have pity on Filipinos working in Thailand and send your satellite signals here to us...and also broadcast the PBA games too for that matter. :)
Obviously as I have been talking about San Miguel for most of the blog here, I obviously did not do anything exciting today. Work...work...and then there is more work.... :( Oh and had a bit of chat with my parents who are a bit worried about my whereabouts here (probably because of my mention that some of our German friends/trainees visited our room before and I indubitably left out the part about it being a party with lots of other people around...my bad... :) ).
Yun lang. bye. hehehe. Im hungry na. I will just call my cousin tomorrow for updates. yehey! my first blog. hahaha. mwah!